Heh heh heh

>:)

Motto

Swallow your feelings. Scoop them neatly and don’t let them spill or leave a stain. Chew them quickly – don’t savor them – just long enough to make them an unrecognizable mush before pushing them down to be dissolved in the acid below. Start small, just the ones you can handle: sadness when someone dies in a movie, anger at tech support. Those are the ones that make sense, that go down smooth.

Others are harder to swallow, the complex, multi-course meals made of layer after layer of uncertainty and guilt, warring flavors of disbelief and longing to believe, fear of getting what you want and fear of losing what you never had. It’s okay if you can’t choke them down right away, if they get stuck halfway and leave a lump in your throat, if they make you sick and some of them leak out through your eyes and nose or burst out of your mouth when you least expect it. It happens to the best of us. You just have to build up a tolerance. Consume them little by little, and before you know it, you’ll have room on your plate for something else, something better.

 Just as you can’t remember the time before you ate solid food, soon it will become second nature. One day you’ll wonder when the last time you cried was, and find you can’t remember. That’s great, you’ll think, no one can hurt you now. No one can touch you. You are a pristine and impenetrable fortress of stoicism. Everything is blank and immaculate.

Carry on and don’t give it another thought. Not until someone asks you how you feel and you don’t have an answer because you just don’t know. Not until something happens and you laugh when you were supposed to cry because somewhere along the way the wires got crossed. Not until someone is sitting in front of you, spewing their feelings and begging for yours and all you can think is what a mess they’ve made in the place you’ve worked so hard to keep so tidy.

- article by Julie Beck from Thought Catalog

It's like you're homesick for a place that doesn't even exist.

A friend uploaded this picture and I loved it. :)

I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.

I can imagine being about 40 and looking for him again, only to turn up and find that he's settled with a beautiful wife and beautiful kids and he's completely happy... and I'm still on my own. The song's about that and I'm scared at the thought of that.

Adele, Someone Like You.

I am not a glutton...

... contrary to all the baking pictures on this blog. Nyum nyum, but I'm so hungry after editing The Point pictures from last night. The first 7th baby turned 21 on 7th April! Happy birthday, Jun Jing! Thanks for always being the point of reason of BESI (details in the next post!) and the sanest person on the 'normal scale'.

It was a surprise dinner organized by Mian at Platform 28 in Docklands.

Happy Birthday, JJ! Ps: the Brunetti cream puff thingymajiggy was so yummy. And creamy. And yums.

:O ==> That's not the birthday girl. Seriously.

The 'prank' candle that would not be blown out! >:) And an ominous looking knife...

It was a fab night as usual. Accompanied with very near-misses and our horrible confirmcannotjoinCIA attempts to act 'natural' and not draw attention to ourselves. ;) Next up was Flare Cocktail Night with a white theme! It was really fun since I haven't seen the Flare peeps for ages. It felt like it was just yesterday when I keep rushing out of my apartment at night to go for rehearsals. Neverland after! :D :D :D It's my new favourite place. Hehe.

Tai Howe photobombed a potential profile picture. BOO YOU! ;)

Favourite picture of the night.

We're so ghetto. Y'all.

My face is the epitome of colon dee. :D

SWOTVAC is here. Oh my goodness, I'm so nervous. I need to do well. It's not an option but yet I feel that I'm gonna fall so hard on my ass that it'll actually expand (if possible).

PS: I literally BROKE my hand-mixer. The machinery in it gave a huge smoky crankle sound and parts started falling out. Sobs. No more baking until I get a new one. :((( Today is not a good day. Maybe it's a sign that I should stop baking when I'm stressed out from studying and instead... study some more.

Lately, I've been feeling that I've lost that little bit of magic sparkle. All I can think about is how I can't be that person I want to be... no matter how hard I try.

Happy Easter!

After approx. three to four dreadful weeks of uni, Easter holidays are finally here! It calls for a celebration. Which is where I'm heading off to now. :)

Remember my carrot-cake cupcakes earlier? Well, for potluck, I made it into a .... cake! Instead of maple cream cheese, I layered it with chocolate cream cheese instead and added some dulce de leche. :)

Googoogaga. This was before the horrible :( cake tilting incident which ended up wit half of the frosting/decoration ruined. :( But, damage control!!!!

My pre-celebration drink: a smoothie. I'm so cool. :)

Carrot-Cake Cupcakes with Maple Cream Cheese Frosting

Top five reasons to make carrot cake cupcakes in the middle of the night:

1. You've just finished studying three weeks worth of Investments for the whole day.
2. A bag of neglected carrots in the fridge. 
3. Over-active mind which is always clouded with confusing thoughts. 
4. You've had two cups of skinny lattes. And you don't feel skinny.
5. No idea what to bring for a potluck this coming Thursday. :/

Most people (mainly me) have this misconception into thinking that 3 cups of carrots stuffed into a batch of cupcakes is good for you. It's very true. ;)

Cinnamon!

Cinammon totally floats my boat. Recipe asked for 2 teaspoons; I included 4 teaspoons.

Three cups of grated carrots. That's a LOT of carrots.

'Chopped' walnuts: more like me taking a can of pineapple and smashing walnuts into smithereens.

When you want to bake, you've got to deal with the dirty dishes. I'm still trying to find my way around this.

Letting the fresh-out-of-the-oven cakes cool.

Use some maple syrup for the cream cheese frosting. Found it stashed at the back of the cupboard.

Yay, I'm super doo-wop  happy that the icing was the perfect consistency. Knowing my track record with runny icings and icings that are so sweet that it could make your eyes roll to the back of your head... I wasn't expecting much. :)

Pictures were taken during the day, hence different lighting as above. :)

GROWLLLLL. 

Today is such a blue day. :( I've been thinking way way way too much for my liking and it's really hard for me to concentrate without those thoughts coming across my mind. :(((

Someone provide me some good distractions please.

Hachoo

This shall officially be called... the day I became really happy. ;)

I've still been baking in my teeny kitchen. It's just that I hardly take out my battered ol' camera to take pictures while I'm baking. Instead, I used my camera for this...

I concentrate in lectures. Seriously.

Tough weeks up ahead! Cross your fingers for me and hope I can get through it!

We come to love not by finding a perfect person but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.

Week Three is over. Where has the time gone? :/

Saturdays are made for procrastinating. I'm just drifting around my apartment and getting nothing productive done. I must finish my Audit tutorial homework and then I'll get to bake. Okay... okay?

I had the best dessert(s) last night. Boxhill is too far away! I'm feeling like a warm, fat lazy manatee. Give me a hug!

Today, I read this somewhere on somebody's blog. "Now I can make my own journey, instead of living life vicariously through others". This is so true. I can do this!

Things That Makes Me Laugh

My ultimate favourite.

I would totally get these instead of the boring 'Keep Calm and Carry On' poster. ;)

Six on the second hand; two new year resolutions.

 Story of my life.

All this time
We were waiting for each other
All this time
I was waiting for you
We got all these words
Can't waste them on another
So I'm straight in a straight line
Running back to you

Miniature Pretzels

Addicted to: Down by Jason Walker (feat. Molly Reed)

To the annoyance of my parents, I carried on my baking charade! Miniature pretzels. Aww, sho cute. :3 PS: I love the dough hook attachment of the KitchenAid. It helps me knead the dough! Saves me much time and energy on beating that lump up. Oh, but you have to bear with the weird wet slapping sound it makes. Recipe from very knowledgeable Smitten Kitchen!

Oh, and it looks like a freaky alien glob.

Let it rise in a warm spot. I chose the floor next to my kitchen door. Rise, bitch, rise!

Ah, much better.

Form them pretzels! Heh, I followed Martha Stewart's very useful 1-2-3 instructions. Let's just say woman knows her stuff!

Pretzels were so small and fat despite my vain efforts to roll them longer. Just like me. ;)

Boil a pot of water. Spoon in some baking soda and sugar and...

Have I mentioned earlier how obsessed I am with VD? Oh Damon Salvatore/Boone. >:) I've been downloading it like crazy. My poor internet connection is huffing and puffing its way to meet my demands. Also, I'm so disappointed with Uniqlo. The hoodies are so thin. My t-shirt gives me more heat than that thing.

A week and a half back to Melbourne. I want to go back. Yet, I don't want to go back. Story of my life. I only have two days. Is this all I get?

BOIL THEM BUNNIES! :D Nah kidding. I don't actually boil bunnies. Plus, it's bad feng shui. Year of the Rabbit and all. Sorry, I'm rambling. Ignore me. My brain is as porous as a sponge.

Throw them in the oven for about 20 minutes and TADAH! Golden brown and very very chewy. Nyum. I ate mine with ikan bilis sambal. How Malaysian of me.

I shot for the sky, I'm stuck on the ground. So why do I try, I know I'm gonna fall down.